Sees Candies, the hidden agenda

Oh, you think it's just a simple chocolate shop. Oh, you think it's just a cure for the sweet tooth, a little dip into hedonistic milk chocolate love. But no. That black and white smocked nougat vendor conceals a dangerous agenda.

Think about it. They give their candy away. For free. They even force it on you, in that guilty way, in a way that would make you feel stupid for not excepting it. It is free chocolate, after all.

You see where I am going with this, don't you?

How does See’s survive in the dog eat dog world of low-volume, specialty confections? How can they keep paying rent in their high priced, curb-side downtown stores if they keep giving their product away? No sensible company would follow this model. No rational business would think this sound judgment.

So then, what is their business model? Well, let's look at some facts.

Fact: See’s gives away chocolate. Fact: Canadians give away health care. Fact: the original Mrs. See was a Canadian. Conclusion: The See’s corporation is a front for a Socialist Canadian invasion.
Don't believe me?

Upon entering a See’s, any See’s, you will be accosted by a disarmingly friendly clerk who will ask if you want a sample. A free sample. The best trained clerks--who are Royal Canadian Mountie trained--will be extraordinarily nice and will bring you an Almond Royal, or some Victoria Toffee without you even asking. (Notice within the names: Victoria; Royal. Keywords from the Socialist Fatherland.) You are not required to buy anything. No. Not a thing. This same procedure is used in Canadian Hospitals. A Canadian Red (red maple leaf equals red communist) can walk in to any hospital and claim to be sick and the hospital will simply give care. For free!

See’s gives away the chocolate; they expect nothing in return. Canadians give away healthcare, and education remember. That's socialism, my friends. And they are our neighbors.

Try it. Walk in to buy a few ounces of Divinity Puffs, and you will walk out with two Chelsea and a Key Lime Truffle AND the Divinity Puffs. You get more than you paid for.

Go ahead. Once you taste that rich, creamy chocolate, you'll see. Once you return to sample the peanut brittle, it will become apparent. And don't forget to go back for the truffles, no.

Then you'll know that they got you hooked. Hooked on Socialism!